Saturday, January 2, 2016

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Every night I lay and think about my situation.. I think of everything that has happened in the last year and I hold back tears!! I know my faith will carry me through any situation that doesn't mean I don't get weak at times!! I think for the most part I'm a good person I would give anyone the shirt off my back.. Not saying I'm perfect I will never say that but, I know I have very good intentions and a good heart. I have been done wrong but ppl and still find a way to help them.. I just don't want to think that I could have died or could die at anytime!! I swear when you have a serious illness if death wasn't real before it is now!! The word consumed me so much after a friend of mine was killed when I was 17 and it returned when I became ill!! I think about it at least twice a day it scares me and comforts me as well.. Death is easy you don't have to do anything living is hard!! During life you have to try and make the right decision everyday.. It's a mix of emotions and I feel like screaming but then a calmness comes over me.. This has truly been a journey and I think it's making me a better person.. I just want to be positive and do everything in love..

3 comments:

  1. Nykki, I love you! It takes a strong person to tell your story! This shows your heart is stronger than you think! God see and He knows and He will restore your health and your body!Im praying with you and for you! Love, Shana xoxo

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  2. Nykki, I love you! It takes a strong person to tell your story! This shows your heart is stronger than you think! God see and He knows and He will restore your health and your body!Im praying with you and for you! Love, Shana xoxo

    ReplyDelete