At night I do research on heart transplants.. I feel positive about the outcome of the transplant 85-90% of the time. Some of the articles and answer to my questions are heartbreaking. I just have to remember that I serve a God who knows my strength, who knows his child. I have to get out of my head about a lot of things at times it's no need in praying about it if you're going to keep worrying!! I know that I'm human and fear, doubt and stress are all apart of my flesh! I just ask God to keep my mind wrapped in positive thoughts. This is a battle that I know my God will win!! I just hope that me sharing my journey with you all encourages you in some kind of way..

I would just like to put this out there!!! You have to live your life for you not other people!! Taking care of yourself doesn't mean you're selfish, it just means you know the importance of taking care of you!! I have learned this lesson the hard way.. Please believe I'm going to do everything I want to do and always put my wants and needs in front of everyone!! If you don't take care of self you can't take care of anyone else!! Just keep praying and know that things will be great if you keep him first!! So my Kings and Queens stay blessed!!

Stay positive

Hello my beautiful kings and queens.. Don't be upset I'm still figuring out this blogging thing. I just have a few thoughts I would like to share. In order to live a positive and healthy life you must stop listening to negative people...  You have to make everything around you positive!! A negative person will tell you anything!! We all were born to do great things and be happy!! You mean to tell me you're just going to let someone take that away from you?? Stand in your own truth, live in it hell bathe in it if you have to!! Living in your own truth is a key to staying positive..

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Every night I lay and think about my situation.. I think of everything that has happened in the last year and I hold back tears!! I know my faith will carry me through any situation that doesn't mean I don't get weak at times!! I think for the most part I'm a good person I would give anyone the shirt off my back.. Not saying I'm perfect I will never say that but, I know I have very good intentions and a good heart. I have been done wrong but ppl and still find a way to help them.. I just don't want to think that I could have died or could die at anytime!! I swear when you have a serious illness if death wasn't real before it is now!! The word consumed me so much after a friend of mine was killed when I was 17 and it returned when I became ill!! I think about it at least twice a day it scares me and comforts me as well.. Death is easy you don't have to do anything living is hard!! During life you have to try and make the right decision everyday.. It's a mix of emotions and I feel like screaming but then a calmness comes over me.. This has truly been a journey and I think it's making me a better person.. I just want to be positive and do everything in love..

May 25, 2015

May 25, 2015 started out a just like every other day.. It was Memorial Day and I wasn't feeling 100% but I was making it through. I was running around to different stores and then home I went to BBQ!! I got my food cooked and I took a nap because I wasn't feeling well!! I was sleep 45 mins to an hour and I felt this crazy pain in my back and arm!!! I can't explain the pain I felt but it was unreal and real at the same time!! I was in pain for three days leading up until May 25, 2015!!! I didn't want to complain or except what I knew and thought was happening to me!! This is the day I will never forget... This is the day that I was being given the biggest and most difficult test ever!!